im still exhausted from beating all the other sperms

(Source: suicide-scars, via hate)

evaot:

when ur tryin to tell a story but people talk over you

image

(Source: titangelion, via crunchier)

homonomo:

my sister asked what type of soup I was eating but I didnt know what to say because I had just poured orange juice into a bowl and was drinking it with a spoon

(Source: plr2, via seanp0donnell)

telapathetic:

Sorry teacher I cant do my homework because I don’t fucking give a shit

(via hate)

"I’m standing too. Now we’re all standing. We’re 5 jackasses standing in a circle"
- The most under appreciated Rocket quote in Guardians of The Galaxy (via journey-goddess)

(Source: pokemasterjack, via guy)